okay, maybe it's a bad idea to stole this thing from Kirby K., but I hope he will not be angry at me.
okay, he was not angry at me and still don't, so i think it's ok

also i think that this page will be only Russian language, 'cause it's my first language and i can tell about things in my mind a way better
now I'm trying to write English, cause it's international language, and also i need to practice that.


I'm bored, and also i don't have any internet connection rn, so i decided to take a look at all my phone camera photos. interesting thing that i watched all of them. the oldest photo i have made in 2017. most of these photos were made on different phones, but thanks to my sd card, i can now watch these anytime i want. i think, my 16gb sd card filled with these photos at about 30%.

while i was watching photos, i remembered many cool things that happens to me. my old friends, my school and how i celebrated finishing that, my ki first appear in the group im studying today, and so, so on. well, maybe 40% or 50% of that photos are useless shit like old schedules and homeworks, but hey, that is a memories too, i don't really wanna delete them. actually, when i saw my old schedules, i remembered that i was really trying to have a good grades and i succeed that. and comparing to this moment, i really degraded for that thing. there were just two weeks of studying, and i already missed three days. oh jeez, how many problems will it cause? i don't really know, but there would be anyway. ofc if i won't start studying properly, which i actually don't want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also today was interesting day. i went for one lesson, it was English, and then i just skipped last three. i say to my groupmates that i have a headache and some kind of ill. actually, i wasn't feeling that bad. all I've had was my throat hurts. it wasn't even bad, i could speak properly, but i decided to leave. after that, i played some games, and my friend call me to hookah bar. i went with them, cause why not. three of my friends were smoking hookah, but me and my other friend weren't. but somehow we ended to try this, and i don't really know how to explain this. well, the taste was OK, but my throat was really hurted by this. also it should make you feel drugged, but either i didn't smoke enough or i have some kind of resistance for that. actually, i have one, but it's for alcohol. my sister said that to me when we were drinking some together. also there was one board game, and it was pretty interesting. i can't really remember the name of that, sorry. in any case, we left that place and three of my "smoking" friends went by bus, and me and my "no smoking" friend decided to take a walk. while we were walking, he invited me to kfc, and actually order some free food for me. thank you, Alexander, very cool. after eating, we went to dorm and that's all. i played some games after that, but no more interest stuff.

i tried alcohol, i tried smoking, what next? illegal drugs? i really won't be surprised if I'll try that.


I am now as demoralized as possible. perhaps because of the success of others, or perhaps because of my own failure. we played DnD, a cool board RPG game where all you have is a couple of dices. as you know, i already bought some dices for that, and i fully regret that. it was expensive as fuck, and also somehow my luck was lowered as fuck too. well, yes, it is just a luck, but in last battle, my opponent with his very first dice throw killed me at one shot. if you wanna know, the probability for that throw is smth about 1 out of 100. cool, now i don't want to play any game having probabilities in it. well, maybe you can think this one throw isn't enough to maake someone wanna drop out of window, and yes, there is more. in previous battle, i had a huge advantage on my opponent, 'cause i had more hp than him, and also more defense, but somehow, about 70% of my attacks just didn't hit him, and about 50% of his attacks hit me in full power, and 25% more in half damage. as you can guess, i lose this battle too. and this was only the last two battles i have. i don't really want to remember battles before that two. i hate myself for my own luck and i wanna kill myself.

what about other days i didn't write entries, nothing interesting happens. my very last academic year started normally, i still can't spend my money properly. also no skills haven't been got.


hooray, now i actually have a stable internet connection for my laptop. yeah, now i need to pay about $1.5 per month for that, but at least i don't need to overpay my phone for internet. also i started playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends and it awesome. somehow i ended by playing for female elf-rogue with cat ears. also i bought all dices i need for ths game and now i can feel my throws. also i am a dumbass and forgot to post this yesterday. cool.


don't think anything important or interesting happened, i just wanna say that i think i'm ready right now to share my verse, you can see it here. there also photos of paper version of it. if you can read that, go ahead.

also maybe i'll write something more, but i'm not sure. and if i will, i'll write that there too, 100% sure.


today I received 2k pp at osu!taiko. I really excited. also today I actually finished fixing my bicycle, and now I can ride on it. also I though, maybe i need to save my handwritten poems 'cause who knows what can happen. so I just take a photos of that and put that there. on this website, I mean. I just take photos and put that in special folder. so, even if I lose some papers, copy of original will be here


well, there were more than month with no updates. can't say if there was any interesting moments. i finished this academic year without any C grades, so maybe i will get more stipend money. i think, i'll spend this two months of summer at countryside, with my grandpa.

while I was on the train (which was yesterday, actually), I wanted to do something. and since the last game I played and which I passed - Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!, for some reason I wanted to write something. well, I tried to write some verse, and I succeeded. I don't think I'm ready to share this with anyone right now, but sooner or later, I will definitely do it. maybe i'll do even more later, 'cause when i finished writing that, i was excited.

upd: well, i just have some thoughts about that page, and i decided to fill this page only when something really happened, or if i just wanna say something, like my previous entry. so please, don't worry if there will be no entries for a long time.


this entry will be written in Russian language, sorry. I just can't describe what I want in English.
эта статья будет на русском, извините. я просто не смогу написать то, что хочу сейчас написать на английском

the author prohibits distribution of this article in any form.
автор запрещает распространять эту статью в любом виде.

хех, странно, но пока я не начал писать, я чувствовал что-то, однако сейчас у меня довольно смешанные чувства, возможно из-за того, что я начал писать и высказываться (было бы кому, ага)

в общем, сейчас 27 мая, 1 час ночи, и именно сейчас мне пришла в голову одна интересная мысль. она довольно простая: если я нахожусь в каком-то месте, то я доставляю какого-либо вида неудобства или проблемы людям, которые тоже там находятся. приведем пример общаги, в которой я живу. я живу в комнате, с одним соседом. не сказал бы, что мы с ним не в ладах, но мы особо не общаемся. возможно потому, что он старше, а возможно (и скорее всего) это потому, что у нас нет общих интересов. через комнату живут двое человек, учатся на той же специальности, что и я, почти на пол года моложе меня, да и общих интересов у нас достаточно. они переехали туда не так давно, до этого они жили по отдельности. пока они не переехали, в моей комнате было почти всегда грязно, пахло чем-то странным. я спихивал это все на соседа, так как не замечал, что он вообще убирается. сейчас же я почти все время нахожусь у тех соседей, да и они вроде не против. и я заметил, что в моей комнате стало гораздо чище, и мусор почти не появляется. а вот у соседей я теперь часто замечаю то там, то здесь, какой-то мусор, какой-то беспорядок, что-то не убрано, что-то валяется. я думаю, после этого можно сделать некоторые выводы. да, конечно, в данном случае не такая уж и большая проблема, обычный беспорядок. но теперь возьмем другую сторону: моральные неудобства.

я часто замечаю, что многим неприятно со мной общаться, потому что я то говорю что-то не то, то постоянно лезу в разговор, где меня в принципе быть не должно, то пытаюсь навязывать кому-то общение со мной. согласитесь, не очень приятно, когда кто-нибудь пишет вам что-то, на что не ответить будет очень некультурно, или вы просто не можете, например, оставить человека, потому что кажется, что может что-нибудь случиться. был момент, когда я целый год общался с девушкой, просто потому что я хотел общения. ну а еще мне возможно нравилась та девушка, я не разобрался с этим и рвзбираться не хочу. общение закончилось на хорошей ноте, однако я не смог простить себя за это. блять, прошел целый год с того момента, а я до сих пор мучаюсь из-за того, что я писал тогда. она уже скорее всего забыла про это, или возможно даже не видела того, что происходит, а мне все еще неловко с ней общаться.

когда я поступил в колледж, я встретил новый коллектив, который совершенно не знал, кем я был до этого, как я себя вёл и как относились ко мне. я знал, что нужно сделать все так, чтобы никто не знал, что со мной что-то происходит/происходило. и что же я сделал? притворился ебанутым на голову. класс, спасибо. конечно, скорее всего, кроме близкого круга общения меня никто таковым не считает, но тем не менее, лучше не стало. я просто не способен вести себя нормально. я либо несу хрень и всем стыдно за меня (в том числе и мне), либо я не говори ничего и не общаюсь ни с кем. второй вариант мне нравится куда меньше, но приходится иногда использовать и его. да я блять даже в том самом узком кругу общения, где все всем доверяют и никто никого не считает плохим или ненормальным, я не могу нормально общаться, потому что я думаю, что ко мне будут странно относиться из-за того, что я скажу, что я напишу или какую картинку я отправлю.

кстати, насчет этого самого узкого круга общения. в нем есть один человек, который сука идеально показывает, каким ебанутым я был раньше. я и подумать не мог, что такие люди вообще могут существовать помимо меня. спасибо тебе, благодаря тебе я понял, что было бы, если бы я не решил поменяться. я понял, что изменения пошли на пользу, хоть и не так, как я хотел. ни в коем случае не хочу как-то обидеть тебя, но всё-таки советую прислушаться к тому, что я писал здесь и что тебе говорили другие, в том числе и я. главное, не превращайся в меня, еще одного такого же ебанутого человека общество не вытянет.

а теперь поговорим о том, о чем я не хотел говорить вообще никому. как минимум потому, что те, о ком будет идти речь, точно будут читать это. ну, попытка не пытка.

мне неловко об этом говорить, но, похоже, я наконец нашёл людей, с которыми я бы хотел провести свою жизнь. конечно, я очень сомневаюсь, что они хотят того же, так что я почти уверен, что это вряд ли случится. как минимум, я скорее всего не смогу их убедить в этом за год, т.к. я заканчиваю учиться, и, скорее всего, мы больше никогда не увидимся. по крайней мере, я точно знаю, что один из них связан с другим человеком, так что это вряд ли случится. однако они оба/обе - очень интересные личности, и мне очень хочется узнать о них столько информации, сколько они знаю о себе, а может быть даже больше. проблема в том, что даже несмотря на то, что с обоими людьми я общаюсь очень близко, я не могу заставить себя сказать это. а если и скажу, то, скорее всего, не смогу заставить себя узнать ответ. вполне возможно, что я больше не буду учиться в этом колледже, да и в этом городе.

насчет прошедших дней, не могу выделить что-то важное, о чем я еще не писал. ну разве что теперь я ношу хвостик.

ну чо, потратил 40 минут на текст, который прочитают три человека, классно да?


not a bad day. I had three classes of application programming in which no one did anything, including the teacher, so my friend and I just watched the anime. after "classes" I played osu!, then I was called to the student council of the dorm because the fridge in my room smelled awful (spoiler: it didn't). I was reprimanded and given two days of detention. after that I continued to play games and watch various videos on YouTube. in general, that's all. nothing interesting happened.


pretty normal day. there were 4 classes, which i came for only one - english. the others were PE and two database classes. i didn't go for PE 'cause of bad feeling and also it was outside. well, database classes are database classes, i already explained why don't i go there. after all classes was over, even those i didn't come, me and two of my friends went for shopping. later i played some osu, some Celeste (i actually fix the problem by just reinstalling game), some other games. i actually beat third B-Side in Celeste today, so that's cool. a beat fourth level too, found the B-side, but still don't collet all berries. there is three more levels, after which there will be a final level. this will be an end of the story, but not the game. there actually two more levels, and also there are C-side levels, which will become open if you will beat all the B-sides. also there is one golden berry at the start of every C-side level, and you need to beat the whole C-side without any deaths from start to end. that will be very difficult, but i'll try.


yeah, i didn't fill this diary for two days again. i can't say if i was lazy or tired or smth. well, i actually was tired yesterday, 'cause i spent about 10 hours with my friends, but the day before yesterday i wasn't. maybe i just forgot. well, let's speak about these days

the day before yesterday i was doing nothing interesting. i met my friend, we took a little talk, played some card games. after that i took some photos of me on the field and on the sunset. well, that's all actually.

yesterday i actually was doing something interesting. i met my friend before 11 am and 12 pm. we took a some king of big bike ride, also we drank a can of "Monster Energy Citrus" or smth. it was not bad, considering that I do not like citrus. later we rite to our friend, played some card games, an other friend is joined us, but later two of them are left us. we spent some time playing some volleyball, and then dodgeball. it was cool. i came back at home at about 10 pm, mayme 10:30 pm.

at night from yesterday to today my friend DMed me. he was apologising for some things he made wrong towards me. it was some lies, some complaints, maybe even yammers. i was slightly surprised by seeing him from this side actually, 'cause he seemed to be always happy and very active. the crucial moment was his girlfriend, which is ex-girlfriend now. what happened is she just ran him, while she was with other guy. at least i understant that like this. we had some conversation, and he was some kind of happy when he left. hope he is alright now. also, that was at 3 am, and i had to wake up at 7 am for train, so i went to sleep too.

well, time for today. train trip was normal, i just slept all of it. then i played some osu, some 20xx, was trying to play Celeste, but it doesn't working, and idk why. hope i will fix that tomorrow. also classes are starting tomorrow, so i need to go to sleep before 12 am.


i was doing literally nothing today. i played some Celeste, collected all berries at 3rd level, opened B-Side and beat it at half or more. i played some osu!, found new maps, set new records. i went outside once, for less than a minute. i didn't go for a walk today, 'cause my friend was cleaning his backyard and he couldn't go with me. also i didn't work in garden at all today.

wow, i started writing this an 3:40 am and now it's 4:10 am. yeah, i still can't set my sleep mode properly, but that's not the point. i wrote not many words with so much time. is it because of the lazy day, or because of my writing skills are getting worse, i don't know. maybe i just need to go to sleep :)


wow, i actually was walking outside. me and my friend were outside in about 4 hours, and it was cool. the last time we met was in august. we walked all over the village. also we stayed at stadium for about an hour for playing some football games, it was fun. hope that i will go tomorrow too.

today i was helping my grandpa to repair water hose. well, not actually repair. it was buried underground at a distance of about 25 centimeters, and there was ice inside. we had to break the hose where the ice was. now we have access to water in the garden, and no longer have to carry buckets of water from home to water the garden.

and yeah, i still didn't launch Celeste and went to sleep in about 3 am or 4 am. that is baaad. but i found that there is about 200 manga chapters about TouHou made by game developer, so it's canon. i read some of that, and now i know more about TouHou world's lore.


pretty intense day. today i worked in a garden a little bit less than the whole day. well, i like that the whole garden is really clean now and ready for some plants. also i clean my room, which was really bad for the time i wasn't there. i also ate some vegetables, some meat, and some other things. also my laptop charge cable is broken, but with help of my grandpa and other unused cable, now it's working and i'm writing that. i mean, i can write that at my phone, but it will be really hard with a small screen 480x854px, and also my phone is 5 year old. well, it called "Samsung Galaxy J1 2016", so i think so. i really can't properly edit the site, so it's much easier to do that via laptop.

i didn't want to sleep until 3 am 'cause of tv. that's bad.

also yeah, i still didn't launch Celeste, but a drawing for my friend's birthday is ready already


normal day. not as lazy as previous. i mean, i still spent most of the time to just laying the bed, but there are some interesting moments. at first, i started (and finished) sawing the tree that fell into garden 'cause of strong wind. now it's parts is laying at the backyard. also today my mom, mu aunt and my uncle are come to us here. they were cooking some meat on the grill, and i was already sleeping an this time. later my mo woke me up and say to me that i should to go and eat some meat. i eat 2 or 3 bites and went to bed


cool day, and also boring. i woke up at 6:40 am, came to train station at 7:15 am, get in train at 7:40 am and arrived to village at 9:35 am. but i arrived to home only at about 11 am. it wasn't so far from the station, we just were making many long stops. when i came to home and unpacked my things, i was doing nothing but laying in the bed and watching some films on tv. actually, i walked outside a little bit (it was really small amount of time, like 5-10 mins), and ate some garden radish grown up by my grandpa, it was really tasteful. also maybe i will go for a walk with my friends living here. hope nothing goes bad :)

also i didn't started drawing nothing yet, but already found a referense.


normal day. i was playing Minecraft most of the day actually. tomorrow i need to wake up at about 6:30 am, cause i need to go to village, where my grandfather lives, where i spend most of the holidays and weekends and where i will be until 2021-05-10. it's pretty chill place, i like it. at the end of holidays i'll need to come back to city where i'm studying. also there is no good internet connection, so maybe i will have no opportunity to post journal entries.at first i thought: "that will be good time to finish Celeste". i actually didn't launch Celeste since i wrote about that here last time. but then i remember, that my friend's birthday on 2021-08-02, so i need to paint something for him. but now i think, that there will be no time for playing/drawing, 'cause it's May, and we need to work on garden or smth. i still home that i'll have some time for drawing.


pretty cool day. i came to home in about 3 pm, and from that, i was doing nothing but playing pc. this pc is much better than my laptop, and that's cool. me and my friends were playing Minecraft on hardcore. we actually had 2 or 3 deaths, but i still beat the game. cool :)

except that, nothing happened

2021-04-29 and 2021-04-30

yeah, i forgot to add some info about that days, sowwy~

actually, nothing really happened. we have some classes, and i skipped all of them. as i know, there was 3 or 4 database classes, and same amount of applied programming. well, who cares. instead of classes i was playing Minecraft with my friends. we were playing it on hardcore mode, so if we die, we will no longer respawn. but, instead of that, we create new hardcore mechanic, which we were playing. if player dies, he can respawn, but he shall clear his inventory and xp bar. after that, he can set his gamemode to survival from spectator. or, he can stay in spectator mode. it was interesting, so i also added a death counter. for now, i have about 15 deaths, my friend has about 11, and my other friend have one or two (he isn't playing much actualy).

interesting things about 2021-04-29. i went to KFC with my friend. we ate one chefburger, one fri basket with sause and 0.4 liters of drinks each. it was fun, and we spent less than $3 for each. whole order was about $5.75 or smth.

now, about 2021-04-30. at this day all people living in dormitory, should leave to their home. also we need to clean our rooms and move all stuff into center of room (spoiler: my roommate didn't do anything and left the dormatory, so i cleaned all of his stuff too). me and other people (it was about 10 or 15 of us) still were in dormitory at night. but they shall leave it until 4 pm or smth. so now it's 9:20 am and i actually coming back to home by train. i will arrive at about 1 pm and will come to home at about 2 pm. also i was trying to speedrun Celeste with Assist mode, infinite dash and invincibility. it takes me 47 minutes. cool people can speedrun this game with normal mode in about 30-40 minutes. well, i played this game 3 or 4 days, what should i expect from that? i already beat 30-40% of the game (i think so), so i think i will beat 100% of the game before the 2021-05-10.

also my mom wants me to go to haircutter, and i don't want that :)


actually, one more good day. today i have only three classes, two of them was 1C, on which i actually doing nothing but playing private osu! server "Sakuru". pretty cool server actually, i'm already top 3 on osu!taiko and top 10 on osu!mania. but i don't think i can rank up. i had third lesson, which is database, but i didn't go there, cause it's a shit. instead i had a walk with my friend, which have birthday today. i gave them my Megumin pin as a gift, and all a said to them while i was giving that, was "congratulations. you are 18, so you are officially a pedophile now". we laughed. after coming back he took a bus to his home, and i was doing nothing. but when it was about 11:45 pm, i started to make a practice report. and oh boy, it tooks more than 4 hours. while i'm writing this words, it's 4:07 am. i really need to goo to sleep, but i can't, cause i drunk an energetic drink, and somehow it still working. i hope that duration isn't infinite, cause i really need to sleep some time.


today was a good day. the classes worsened it a bit, but not too much. English passed without problems, databases and 1C too, even on life safety I was able to play osu!. instead of physical education, our group went to clean up the backyard of the college, but I didn’t do much because of asthma. in the evening I went to the store with my friends, ran a little, which I liked, and also my friend bought me an energy drink, for which many thanks to him.

today I started playing one very interesting game - Celeste. it is a good platformer with many interesting mechanics, despite the fact that the character can only jump, cling to walls and dash in 8 directions. also this game is incredibly difficult if you try to beat it 100%, which is what I do. I went through two zones, but this is not even an eighth part of the game. I think it will take about a week, maybe more. I hope this game won't bother me because of its length, like Touhou Luna Nights.

about a gift to a friend. his birthday is tomorrow, and I still haven't drawn a picture for him. I talked to him about it, and he said that he was not offended. so I will have a slightly different gift for him that he will definitely like. you just need to hand it in tomorrow, and be in time before he leaves.


the day was normal. at first I played a little osu. I tried to raise the rank in osu! taiko from 20k to 19k, and I almost did it, I almost learned how to pass 2-3 stars maps in osu! mania with the "hidden" mod on the S rank, and also realized that my tablet is not suitable for difficult and / or quick maps in osu! std, as I began to notice a delay between stylus movements and cursor movements. maybe I just need to buy another tablet, but this time use wacom instead of Chinese manufacturers. my tablet (Ugee M708 V3) is perfect for drawing, etc, but for me as an osu! speed is needed. at first I thought about selling my tablet and buying one by wacom instead, but then I remembered that wacom are worse for drawing than the same xp-pen or my ugee. however, it is not cheap, so I will have to save money for a while.

towards evening I finally finished watching K-ON !, and also finished the anime journal, so I'm not going to do anything yet :) I also wanted to draw a drawing for a friend at his request, but realized that I could not, because it is too complicated. it was supposed to be a birthday present, but I asked to replace it with another drawing or something else. By the way, I already know what it might be if he suddenly abandons the drawing.

I need to try to start at least some drawing, otherwise I start to get bored. but today I will not have time to do it, so either tomorrow I will draw what my friend tells me, or I will try to find something else.


i just have some thoughts about my activity. i am really lazy and i don't want to do some things 'cause idk. i mean, i want to do it, but i don't feel i will. there are many things i want to do, but somehow, i don't have enough time for that or i'm just lazy. i have a conversation with my friend about that, and he gave me some advises. basically, all i asked him is what can i do for making my journals always being filled. he said that i need to write things down exactly after i played/watched something, and if i don't know what should i write about that, i just need write any thoughts i have about that. tomorrow is sunday, so I'll try to fill my anime journal. i watched two animes during this time, and also forgot to add two more, when i was filling that last time, so I have enough work to do.

oh, and also, about today. today was pretty lazy day. i wached some animes, playing some osu, nothing interesting actually. i can write more, but it's not really comfortable to write that with a small phone screen keyboard.


i have less than two hours before my sis will come to me and take me there, where i even don't wanna be. what should i do. i can say that i feel bad, or just go for a walk and get "lost". but wherever i am, she will find me and she will take me with her. i actually like to spend time with sis, but not today and not like that. well, i think i just need to take that and there is no possible ways to avoid that. i need to prepare myself mentally.

upd: actualy, it wasn't as bad as i though. we had a nice talk with me, my brother aand my sister and i liked that. now it's 12:39 AM and i feel myself strange. i still can think intelligently and all that i have after all i drunk is strange feel when i walk. i still control my walking, but it feels like my movement is have smooth filter. i really can't describe that, but my sis (actually, she is mu cousin, but we acting like brother and sister) continue saying that is "синька" (easy drunkness). also she said that i'll have a "вертолётик" (spell as vertolotik, translate as helicopter and meaning is dizziness when lying down), but i still don't feel it.

for this evening i've drunk:

i think that is a lot of alcohol and i don't know how i will feel myself tomorrow and later. now i'm tired and want to sleep.


these two days were actually not as bad as i though. yesterday there was five classes, three of them was programming classes, on which i just playind osu! and some other shit, and 1C classes, which i wasn't playing on, but also wasn't studying shit. today was similar situation: one programming class and one 1C. also, there were two database classes before these two, but i've skipped them, 'cause i really don't like how the teacher is teaching us. also yesterday i cooked nice fried potatoes with some eggs. that was very tasteful and i still have it, so i don't need to cook today. but there is one thing that worrying me since this monday. actually, we have a tradition in our family. a tradition i heard this monday and found that really strange. maybe that isn't strange to some people, but for me, i really don't want to do that. it called "fraternal binge". basically, my sister will teach me how to drink alcohol properly. i don't want to taste any alcohol at all! i basically forced to do that and that is awful. this will take place on saturday's evening. i need to find any point that helps me to not do that shit before that day.


i feel mentally and physically destroyed right now. so all i can do now is looking for some memes and write that. "let's repeat last diary entry: all important things that happened after previous entry and until now." - that's what i wanted to say, but unfortunately, i can't remember any important or interesting things, except my friend actually beats Minecraft (with my help, but whatever). now we're trying to get all achievements, which is going pretty well.
yesterday and today me and my other friend was walking through the whole city. we walked together about 15-20 kilometers within 2 days (3-4 hours actually, 2 hours at first day and ~1.5 hours at second). this is because i feel physically destroyed. why am i feeling mentally destroyed - who knows.
my mom finally moved to this city, so i can "return home" anytime now. what is actually sad, it's my cat is still in a town which my mom moved from. it still get food from other man, but i know it feels lonely.
i want to record one more japanese song performed by me. this time that is "summertime", which also known as "kimi no toriko". i just need to catch a right time, when nobody is nearby or next to me.
i watched 2 anime titles, so i need to write them down at journal, but i'm too lazy to do that.
now i'm top 20k at osu!taiko. that's cool, but now i'm stuck there, like i'm stuck at 350k rank at osu!std and 150k rank at osu!mania.


it's been a long time. i have some updates:

yep, that's all i have within this three weeks. this is why i stopped filling this diary.

some explanations about 03.13.21 and 03.14.21

so, yeah, there was nothing i could describe about that days. i kinda tired of filling my diary everyday and trying to write as much as i can, even if nothing really happened. i don't know, will i continue this later or not, but if i will have some interesting moments at life, i always will write about that. i really don't want to write "nothing happened" everyday and i really tired from making "nothing" to some interesting texts. maybe i shall take some break from it.


ordinary day. normal lessons, normal day at all. i improved "birzha simulator" just a little more, and now it is as good as i can make it with free version of Construct 3. it has dynamic chart (kinda) and also i fixed many bugs i had. maybe i should show my work to teacher and present it as coursework. but then i need to make maximum content i can.

i finished speedrun page on my website, now it had all leaderboards and all runners' basic info. also i began writing "about" article, where i can tell everyone about me and who i am. i think it will take me in about two or three days, and i will post it. in any case, i want to finish it before monday.


cool day i'd say. lessons were not so boring, but i still wasn't doing them. instead i continued my work with stock market simulator. at the end of worj i had a good working chart, but i want make it also dynamic. also there are some bugs i need to fix. and may be i need to fix randoms too. the rest of the day was cool too: i went with my friend to speedrun Grilnitsa% (I'll make page about that later), and his time was about two minutes less than mine. after i met my other friends, and we were walking and saying some random things. it was fun. at the end of the day me and my friend had a talk about random but important for me things, like relationships, feelings and faith. i think it is the best day ending I've ever had. it was really cool day, i liked it.


lessons were not as bad as yesterday's. i began to learn Unity2D, and make some kind of project with it. also me and my friend made a stock market simulator on Construct 3 engine. also i made a good macarons with minced meat, it made sounds like sklizkaya ssanaya zhizha, but still very tasty. later i was trying to FC "The intense voice of Hatsune Miku", which means i should to pass this without any misses, and i made a stream part, but i still had misses earlier, so that wasn't FC. in about 9 PM my frirnd started "Battle of Fantasy" - cool card game, where you need to beat your opponent using only your cards and your fantasy. i was judging, and it was really fun.


pretty normal day. lessons were ok, i thought it would be really bad, but it was okay. my other neighbor returned from home, so now i can cook with someone. also that means i will cook more and eat less, 'cause a half will be eaten by him. i need to think about that.

i feel like i'm starting to forget about this diary, or just don't want do that. hope that is laziness, ant it is temporarily, but who knows.


cool day. playing some 30XX, some Supreme Commander too (cool RTS game, I recommend). also my skills in Taiko No Tatsujin are increasing really well, now i can pass The intense voice of Hatsune Miku on Expert difficulty. also my neighbor returned to dormitory from a home, so now i can eat his food :)


nothing interesting happened. playing some osu!, some other games, drew one more birthday picture for my friend (her birthday was a week ago, so yes, i fucked up), also i went outside today, and that's cool.


an ordinary day. i've cooked stewed rice with beef and vegetables, but beef was slightly overdone. also today is my friend's birthday, so i've decided to make something for him, and as i know, he liked that. i can't remember more than that, so i thing, nothing more happened.


studying was shit. first lesson we were doing literally nothing, second there was an non-understandable tasks, and teacher shouted to my friend. and third lesson - this just doesn't happen, 'cause teacher left. there is only one thing i can say about: my friend's birthday. actually, it's only tomorrow, but he decided to celebrate that today. except me, there was three more of our friends, and also his sister, and somehow she get lost, so we went to find her. after everyone was there, we went to KFC, and i was very grateful to birthday boy for paying for me (he was paying for all, actually). we had quite a fun time there, i should mention. after all food was eaten, and all conversations was ended, everyone was going home, except the birthday boy and his sister: they went to the movie theater. after i came home, there was nothing but boredom. my PC is enabled for about 2 days, and i still doesn't used it. also i played some rhythm games on my neighbor's phone, 'cause my phone is shit, and he didn't mind that.


lessons were boring, and i cooked a beautiful buckwheat with ground beef and vegetables. maybe there was some more interesting moments, but i can't remember it. also, i found hibiscus tea makes me feeling dizzy. i don't know is it good or not, but i strangely find that cool.


very lazy day. while i should be studying, i played more Cookie Clicker and IWBTB, and also trying make smth on Unity Engine, which i was using for first time. after college, i was cooking a buckweat, and there was a full sausepan of it. i think i should made smth with that tomorrow, maybe a good meal. after cooking, i didn't do anything interesting, just watching youtube and playing Counter Strike: Source on a public server.


today was an ordinary day. there were no lessons until 2 PM, so the morning was pretty boring. so, instead of doing nothing, i realised, that i can draw something, and i have an internet connection, so i found drawing source picture very soon. it takes me about three hours to draw it, and my pc could just blow up 'cause of the big resolution of final image. after this, i went to pair of the databases lessons, which i wasn't studying, but playing Cookie Clicker and making funny things with my website. after coming home, i played osu! a little bit, and all the time watching youtube videos.


the day was pretty boring. lessons was non-productive. at least i can say i found a new thing i liked a lot. it called Taiko no Tatsujin, and i found myself pretty good at it. i'm still beginner, but i'm already can pass maps with 2-3 difficulty points at osu!taiko with A and S ranks. maybe i should find smth to draw today, 'cause i'm really bored. my wifi isn't working 'cause nobody didn't paid for it, and my mobile internet isn't working too 'cause the same reason. and i don't have money to pay monthly fee, so i think i should draw smth today.

update: now i do have a stable internet connection. also, i didn't draw anything today, and don't think i will be able to begin tomorrow.


i cooked fried potatoes. after this, nothing happened


i was trying to help my friend with his work (for money, of course), but, unfortunately, there was some bugs with server or smth, so who cares. later i went to bank for paying my room rental and communal payments. also i finished watching JoJo's bizarre adventures: Stardust Crusaders, and it was really cool.


i wasn't studying today, 'cause of bad feeling. instead i was playing osu! at my friend's PC, 'cause he have a mechanical keyboard and also better monitor than my laptop. later we also were playing osu!,but instead of standart game, two of my friends was trying to beat my score with their scores' summ (spoiler: they couldn't). after this, nothing happened.


pretty cool day, except the "1C" subject. i was eating cheeseburger at KFC and some other stuff at Burger King with my friends. also, i drunk too many soda, so i wasn't feeling good for some time. after that i invite two more people to play osu! with me, and it looks like they liked that. so it's now five of them.


pretty cool day, except one lesson. also, i didn't get kicked out of dormitory i live, but i get a warning, and if i made smth like that again, i will get kicked out. also i already watched first two seasons of JoJo's bizarre adventure and that is some good shit. maybe i should made smth like journal and fill it with all the animes i wached.


absolutely same with 02.22.21, except i may or may not leave the dormitory i living forever in a short time 'cause of breaking rules or smth like that.


nothing happened, except i watched too many JoJo series, so it's 3 AM now. i need to go to sleep


nothing happened


nothing happened. except yesterday's burger king thing


Обычный день, не считая того, что я плохо проснулся сегодня. Обычные пары, кстати, уже третий или четвертый день подряд одни и те же. После пар мы с двумя одногруппникам пошли в ТЦ, чтобы поесть роллов. Помимо них, я взял еще мисо-суп, он был довольно вкусным, но туда не добавили лосось, а так же я взял безлимитный напиток из Бургер Кинг, который позволил мне выпить около двух литров 7up. Придя домой, я смог уговорить еще одного друга поиграть в osu!, и ему эта игра понравилась, так что круг знакомых-осеров расширяется. Ближе к вечеру мы собрались поиграть в Манчкина, поиграли, но из-за споров в игре, так ее и не закончили.


По сути, я пишу это в тот же день, но в другие сутки, ну да не суть. День был довольно неплохим, пары не отстойные, время после пар было потрачено, к сожалению, ни на что либо положительное, если не считать эмоции от игры. Однако затем я вспомнил, что мне нужно выполнить несколько работ, иначе моя успеваемость может буквально рухнуть. Эти работы я выполнял около двух с половиной часов, но зато они выполнены и выполнены на уровне. Правда я теперь не чувствую пальцы на правой кисти, но это мелочи.


Не думаю, что есть, что рассказать. Пары, затем отдых, затем конец дня. Пожалуй, было всего два интересных события. Первое - я сходил в KFC с однокурсниками и оставил там почти 400р. Второе - сегодня наконец вышла игра, которую я ждал около полугода - 30XX. Это продолжение игры 20XX (как тривиально), с добавлением кучи всяких нововведений, а так же редактор уровней и место, куда эти уровни можно выкладывать. Увы, у меня не хватает денег, чтобы купить ее сейчас, так что подожду лучших времен.


Довольно обычный день с довольно необычным концом. Учеба прошла достаточно хорошо,но без положительных моментов. На первой паре я делал ничего связанного с предметом, а просто смотрел рандомные видео на YouTube. На второй паре у нас должен был быть "Срез знаний", но во-первых, никто даже не пришел чтобы проконтролировать нашу группу, а во вторых, абсолютно все списали, так что особо не о чем говорить. После учебы я с одногруппниками пошел за шаурмой, а в последствии за чизбургером. Кстати, именно во время поедания нами шаурмы, нам пришла в голову гениальная идея - сформировать спидран по ее поеданию. Вечером я узнал, что возможно мой сосед знает того же человека, что и я, а так же мой друг мне напомнил, что нужно отредактировать рассказ, который мы вместе пишем. Также, дизайн моего сайта наконец завершен, за что еще раз огромное спасибо Kirby K. Этот человек делает для меня довольно много, и я надеюсь, что когда-нибудь отплачу ему тем же. Однако я не исключаю, что в будущем дизайн сайта снова изменится.


Окей, это был слишком насыщенный день, я не смог описать его вечером или ночью, поэтому пишу утром следующего дня. Утро было достаточно хорошим, я играл в osu! со своим соседом. Я очень рад, что он согласился играть со мной, и в целом игра ему понравилась. Так что теперь у меня на одного друга-начинающего игрока больше. Затем была учёба. Ничего интересного, кроме мытья спортзала нами же на уроке физкультуры, не было, хотя и это событие нельзя назвать интересным. Затем я обнаружил, что в Dream идет последний день скидок, поэтому я потратил около 200 рублей на разного сорта интересные игры. Затем, после 11:00 РМ я лег спать, но даже здесь есть что рассказать. Меня постоянно кидало в разные стороны. Я то просыпался, то меня клонило в сон. Я не уверен с чем это связано, поэтому не могу точно сказать. Ну в целом, день довольно наполненный.


Почти обычное воскресенье, однако опять все общежитие заставили идти на мероприятие. На этот раз это был баскетбол и воллейбол в спортзале колледжа. Там было холодно, поэтому мы с другом просто поднялись наверх и играли полтора часа в пинг-понг, после чего успешно ушли. Затем я со своими соседями играл в Ultimate Chicken Horse, что было очень весело, и провели мы за этой игрой около пяти часов. Также один из соседей уехал и забрал с собой компьютер, так что теперь у меня есть постоянное место где-то на протяжении недели.


Обычный день, особо важного ничего не произошло. Вместе с соседом прошли Fireboy and Watergirl in the Light Temple на 100%. Эта часть оказалась куда легче первой, несмотря на большее количество уровней и нововведений. Примерно в 1:15 PM в общежитии отключили свет, и не включался он на протяжении около часа. На этот раз у меня был заряженый на 100% ноутбук и Внешний аккумулятор для телефона. Также я обновил стиль сайта, за что нужно сказать большое спасибо Kirby K.